Advice From The Comic Hack 150 – The Two Questions, Honest Dealings, Children And Stinky Neighbors Edition

Jul 30

Advice From The Comic Hack 150 – The Two Questions, Honest Dealings, Children And Stinky Neighbors Edition

Henry David Thoreau said a LOT of things; so many things. One of them was “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.” But in last week’s column we learned that politeness is a double-edged sword. Sure; but  a katana is a single edged sword. So we need to know, which one would YOU rather fend off a zombie with: Politeness or Katana?    Wikipedia lists Wild-eyed Hank Thoreau as an author, poet, philosopher, abolitionist (Yay!), naturalist, tax resister, surveyor and historian. I would like to add poseur, proto-hipster, and early-adopting lumbersexual to that list. Have you seen his glorious beard? On the plus side, his ideas of civil disobedience influenced Tolstoy, Gandhi and M.L. King. On the less – plus side that damned Pond book… Ugh, insufferable. The only thing worse than that dry, papery turd, is the legion of nitwits who try to live their life by it. Thoreau certainly didn’t. But I digress. I’m obviously not a fan of Thoreau but I DO love my Darling Readers and today two of them have written to me for advice on the most courteous way to confront a friend. I’ll address these questions below all you have to do is to read my words and let me know what you think. This is also the place where I encourage you to SUBMIT QUESTIONS for future  columns to Advicequestions@tortugatwins.com so yes please that! ONE MORE THING: I am getting reports that those Darling Readers who signed-up to receive email notifications whenever a new ADVICE COLUMN is published are not getting those emails. Can you put a comment in the comment section below and let me know if you’re signed up and getting the emails (or not) please?    How does one deal with a friend who is always bragging about spending lots of money on their kids and than complains they have no money to do anything else?    You are faced with three choices really – Choose to mention this inconsistency to our friend or choose to mind your own business, or even choose to disassociate with that friend so you no longer have to deal with it. But before you go making drastic decisions, critiquing, or shunning your...

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Advice From The Comic Hack 149 – The Honesty, Kardashian, And This Is A Steam Shovel Edition

Jul 23

Advice From The Comic Hack 149 – The Honesty, Kardashian, And This Is A Steam Shovel Edition

In The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bierce, journalist, author, satirist and reigning hide-and-seek champion defined politeness thusly “Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy” and obscure American writer Mary Wilson Little – so obscure that I cannot find a Wikipedia entry for her, just some delicious quotes – tells us that “Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.”   Writers and philosophers from Bono and Flaubert to Kennedy, Bismarck and Balzac (Giggity!) have written about the importance of manners and politeness in our day-to day dealings. I have even quoted Heinlein’s Lazarus Long on the topic in previous entries in this column. But Politeness is a double-edged sword. In theory it defends us from the unpleasant but sometimes in practice it prevents us from artfully suggesting that people “fuck-off”, and continue to fuck-off lest we strangle them. Today one of my Darling Readers asks me how to wield this double-edged sword of manners and how to handle questions about a fellow she clearly likes. How mannerly do you think I’m going to be? Go read the thing for your answer! One final note – you’ll find many photos of Kardashians in today’s article. You couldn’t possibly be more disappointed in that than I am. You should also know that I really want some interesting questions for upcoming columns. Submit those questions to Advicequestions@tortugatwins.com   Can I get some advice from ya? So I have this really awesome friend, who’s a rare friend. He’s the type of guy that can smile through anything says if I can you can too. I admire and respect him for who he is and what he has helped me with. I had a small crush on him i can admit that, but we’re friends, he’s like a big brother to me. But i have a lot of people that know both of us who think I just have a crush on him. I”ve told him many times all I want is friendship nothing more. I’ve even stated to some other key friends that I don’t have crushes on my friend. We both have a lot of the same values of friendship and we both bring forth those values. He just knows how to treat people especially...

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Advice From The Comic Hack 148 – The “The Way We Deal With Mental Health Is Crazy” Edition.

Jul 17

Advice From The Comic Hack 148 – The “The Way We Deal With Mental Health Is Crazy” Edition.

Greek philosopher, scientist and rabble-rouser Aristotle believed that “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”  He had a great mind. Poet, author and madman Edgar Allen Poe told us “Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence” that sonovabitch might have been CRAZY!   Certifiable madman and not-at-all the same guy as portrayed in that Russel Crowe movie, mathematician John Forbes Nash, Jr. once said “People are always selling the idea that people with mental illness are suffering. I think madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better” but again, Craaa-aaa-aazy! Apparently the only things more complicated than a dangerous (or disturbed) mind are our views and opinions on the topic and how we deal with those who are afflicted.  Today a Darling Reader asks me a poignant question about Mental Health. I weigh in with my normal grace, wit, delicacy and humor.  Before I ask you to SHARE this column and submit questions for future columns to Advicequestions@tortugatwins.com – like I always do – I’d like to ask your honest opinion: I’m thinking about turning the first 125 (or so) advice columns I have written into both a downloadable e-book and real, live, proper book (also available in hardback). If I created a Kickstarter project to finance it – would you be interested in supporting it? What kinds of rewards would you like to see? What would good price points be for the e-book, the paperback and the hardcover, collector’s version? Weigh in Kids!  Dear Comic Hack: It seems a lot of people who suffer from Mental illness are still trying to fight social stigma about the mental health care system. It seems those who are not given the proper mental health care are taking drastic measures and ending their own life. I deal with the social stigma of having a mental illness every day. Why do people treat you like you have the plague when they find out you have a mental illness? Why is an invisible illness such a big deal to those who don’t have it?  The concise, accurate and short-and-to-the-point answer that my...

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Advice From The Comic Hack 147 – The Red Flags, Wrong Reasons, And Foundation Of Sand Edition

Jul 02

Advice From The Comic Hack 147 – The Red Flags, Wrong Reasons, And Foundation Of Sand Edition

I just read that Best Selling Author (huckster!), Business Strategist (snake-oil selling huckster) Certified Life Coach (Total huckster) and respected entrepreneur (huckster, huckster, huckster!) Rob Liano has said “If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it. If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less. You will wander aimlessly, uncomfortably numb in your comfort zone, wondering how life has ended up here. Life starts now, live, love, laugh and let your light shine!” So Mr. Liano may BE a huckster – but he is capable of speaking great truths too! I return from my summer vacation a week after flags have featured so prominently in the media – That’s media both social and professional. So many ensigns and standards have been brought to our attention. The “Confederate flag” has been the center of a tragedy and symbol of racial and cultural divides. The Rainbow Flag has been the center of our evolving stance on human rights as well as made our Facebook profiles ever-so-much-more colorful. But what about the red flags?  Why do so many people have a blind spot for  Scarlett banners warning of dire consequences? Today I address a Darling Reader who may not see the Crimson pennants fluttering all around her dysfunctional relationship. I’m going to tell her things she probably doesn’t want to – but really needs to – hear. You can let me know how I did in the comments section below. Don’t forget: Submit YOUR questions for future columns to advicequestions@tortugatwins.com   I was married, in fact I am still married to an emotionally and physically abusive jerk. We split up about a year ago, a few months ago I moved cross country to be with a guy I met online. He is still married to his ex though he hasn’t been with her in years and they are in the process of a divorce. I should preface this by saying, I am co-dependant and the boyfriend hasn’t been in a relationship in years. When I got here we were all I love yous like we were online.  The situation got difficult through pressure from his family and a lack of child support from my ex. I,...

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